The Hope of Christmas

I was reminded of the importance of Christmas at church yesterday morning.  During the sermon I reflected on many things and how grateful I am for the life I have now. I became a Christian in May of 2000.  Before becoming a Christian I always knew the meaning of the season.  I knew the reason we celebrated Christmas and I would even say that I believed it all.  I believed in Jesus and I knew there was a God, but nothing about my life showed that I was one of His children.  Christmas has changed for me over the years.  I still love the magic of Christmas.  I love gifts and I love giving to others.  However, the real purpose of Christmas is so much more. 

To those who don't believe, the story of Christmas may seem like a fairytale of sorts. It takes faith to believe such a story. I believe it with all of my heart.  I believe Jesus came down to earth, was born a man, and experienced every temptation any of us have ever faced.  Yet, he remained perfect.  No imperfections.  No wrong-doing.  Even so, he was hated.  He was bullied.  He was scorned.  He was accused.  He was betrayed.  He was abused, beaten, and humiliated.  He did it all in the name of love.  He did it for you and for me.  He never once complained.  Read that again.  He never once complained. 

He asked only once for a different path, but only if it was His Father's will. 

“My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” Matthew 26:39

If I think on it much, it takes my breath away.  He did it all for me.  He did it all for you.  

When I reflect on my life and the things I have been through, it is nothing compared to what He faced.  Any pain, hurt, or wrong-doing I have experienced will never compare. I held my nine-month-old daughter in my arms and watched her heart stop beating on a hospital monitor many years ago.  Even in that, I was at peace in His decision to take her. I grieved and I hurt, but I never blamed God for what I went through.  It was part of His plan.  Perhaps he was preparing me for Drake.  Perhaps he needed me to be stronger.  Perhaps her time was simply up.  No matter the reason, I trust Him. I suppose that is why my outlook on autism and life is different than some.  I refuse to complain about things that cannot be undone.  I refuse to be a sinking ship when I have Him as my guide.  God gave me this child for a reason.  I don’t have all the answers and many days I don't know what I am doing, but I can assure you that I was given this path because it was mine to have. I'm not mad about that.  The only thing I can do is be the best mama to this little boy that I can possibly be.  And I trust Him to guide my steps.  Am I fearful sometimes?  Of course.  However, I refuse to live a defeated life.  I refuse to grieve for a living, breathing child that has a different neurology.  He is very much alive and every single step he walks as been ordered by God.  I trust in that each day. I will not live my life in despair.  I will not complain when millions and millions of people on this earth have faced far more hardship.  Instead, I will rejoice in what I have been given and accept it as it is. 

For me autism has been a gift. I'm not ashamed of that.  I am proud of Drake, autism and all.  I'm not faking it for the sake of social media or for anything else.  This is our reality.  I have accepted it and in many, many ways I appreciate the simplicity of our lives.  I am not jealous of what I don't have.  Each and every day I wake up and plan to have a good day!  It doesn't always work out, but tomorrow is a chance to try again.  I know that many families struggle with unimaginable things such as aggression, self-harm, seizures and a whole host of things that we have not experienced.  My heart breaks for them.  However, the people I admire the most are some these families.  Their determination and drive inspires me every single day.  I used to fear what some of these families deal with such as seizures and unimaginable aggression.  However, their steadfastness and hope has shown me that even those journeys can have successful outcomes.  Those are the people I seek out when I worry.  

I also seek out the One who controls it all.  I often pray, "Lord, I don't know what to do in this situation, but I need you to make it happen for Drake.  You know what would be best."  I have never once been left feeling like I didn't get an answer or the right direction.  Everything has happened with perfect timing and been just what Drake needed, when he needed it.  

This is our path.  In light of what the Lord faced, from his birth to his gruesome death, who am I to complain?  Drake brings me joy every single day.  On days that he struggles I often worry, but I know who is in control. I cannot live my life consumed with fear.  It wouldn't be fair to Drake.  We take each day and do with it what we can. I was not given this life or this journey to live each day defeated.  If I can't be a light at home, I certainly won't be a light to others.  

This child has brought me immeasurable joy.  He has been a blessing to everyone who meets him.  I think part of that has to do with how I have chosen to look at this journey.  I walk into any situation demanding acceptance of him.  I don't generally have to tell people how to treat him because they follow my lead.  They see the acceptance I have for him and they do the same.  

Christmas to me is about hope.  Hope is something I always keep at the forefront of my mind.  On bad days, I have hope.  On good days, I have hope.  Jesus came to this earth to give us all hope. The hope and promise of a Savior.  Who am I to ever complain about the cards I've been dealt after all He has done for me?  Each trial and tribulation has made me stronger, better, and more capable to handle the next obstacle.  I choose to live my life in a way that brings hope to others.  I want people to read our story and realize that having an autistic child is okay.  Yes, life will be different, but it will also be beautiful if you allow it.  His will may not always be what I imagined, but I know it is perfect and what I  need.  For that, I am thankful. 

I hope the next year brings you all immeasurable joy, hope, and peace.  May we all carry the hope of Christmas in our hearts.  

Luke 2:1-20 New International Version (NIV) Bible Gateway

The Birth of Jesus

2 In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. 2 (This was the first census that took place while[a]Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3 And everyone went to their own town to register.

4 So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. 5 He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. 6 While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, 7 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people.11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

14 “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
    and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.”

15 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.”

16 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. 17 When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, 18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 19 But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. 20 The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.